Digital detox How to stop wasting time on the internet

Digital detox How to stop wasting time on the internetDigital detox How to stop wasting time on the internetWe all waste a lot of time on the internet these days. And due to mobile devices, we do iteverywhere, bedrngnis just at home.(In fact, right now there is enormous pressure on moi to make sure you feel readingthisis productive and leid just mora time-wasting on the internet. Yeesh.)So how do we address Oh, dear me, I almost forgot to include the obligatory scary statistics that are essential when talking about how technology is ruining ur lives. Alrighty, better check that boxHolly Shakya of UCSD and Nicholas Christakis of Yale did a study of over 5200 people titled,Association of facebook inc Use With Compromised Well-Being A Longitudinal Study.And, boy, that title is quite the time-saver as far as my job is concerned, lemme tell yaOur results show that overall, the use of Facebook was negatively associated with well-being.By the way, that research wasnt published in the Fancy Pants Journal of Happiness or the The Review of Ivory Tower Digital Studies Nah. It was approved and published by The American Journal of Epidemiology. Yes, thats the study ofdisease.Email, texting, Netflix, Xbox, 64 flavors of social media The screens have declared victory. Weve got an iPhone in one hand and were waving a white flag with the other.And for those who grew up in a screen-dominated world, its even worse. Teens spend an average ofnine hours a dayconsuming media. And theirrates of depression and suicidehave skyrocketed. Id love to tell you those things are totally unconnected but SDSU psychology professorJean Twengesays,Much of this deterioration can be traced to their phones.What do we do?Cal Newportwants to abflug a revolution. He calls it Digital Minimalism. Put the baseball bat down were not going neo-luddite and smashing the machines. We want to control how we use tech - so it doesnt control us.FromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy WorldDigital minimalism definitively does not reject the innovations of the internet age, but instead rejects the way so many people engage with these tools.And Cals the right guy to guide us out of this mess. Not only is he abestselling author- but did I mention hes also a professor of computer science at Georgetown? Hes the furthest things from a technophobe and knows a lot mora about our digital world than you or I do.His upcoming book isDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World.Lets get to it The digital minimalism manifestoScreen time has become the default. And thats a problem. Waiting in line? Look at your phone. Sitting on the toilet? Look at your phone. Friend said three words that werent fascinating? Look at your phone.You dont spielblttchen up a hammer unless theres a nail around. It has a specific purpose. But we dont see our digital tools like that. Cal says we need to.FromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy WorldA philosophy of technology use i n which you focus your online time in a small number of carefully selected and optimized activities that strongly beistand things you value, and then happily miss out on everything else.Our devices provide plenty of benefits. But were often really bad about balancing that with the costs in an optimal way. Social mediacanmake us happy, but face-to-face time makes us happier and one usually comes at the expense of the other. But social media is more convenient. So we dont make the best choice we make the easy choice.These technologies took hold pretty suddenly. Most of us havent taken the time to decide what place they have in our lives so they dont take over our lives.Thats addiction.We want to be more deliberate and intentional about our technology use. No nail? Dont pick up the hammer. But you reflexively pick up your phone the second the movie of your life feels like its scoring less than 90% on Rotten Tomatoes.FromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy WorldDigital minimalists see new technologies as tools to be used to support things they deeply value not as sources of value themselves. They dont accept the idea that offeringsomesmall benefit is justification for allowing an attention-gobbling service into their lives, and are instead interested in applying new technology in highly selective and intentional ways that yield big wins. Just as important theyre comfortable missing out on everything else.We dont need to toss our phones but we do need to perform some cost-benefit analysis and decide what works and what doesnt. Henry David Thoreau put it best over 150 years ago.FromWaldenThe cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.In the moment, we think our overuse of tech comes at no cost. But then we wonder where Sunday went. Why we always feel like theres not enough time. And why we havent seen certain friends face-to-face in six months.(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling bookhere.)So how do we start making changes? Were going to rehab, pal.No, youre not checking into a facility - but I hope you like the taste of cold turkey The 30-day digital declutterYoure going to take a 30-day break from optional technologies. (Yes, really. This has been done before by a large number of people and surprisingly few of them died from it.)During the 30 days youre going to rediscover the things that bring you joy which dont involve a screen. The things that made you a human instead of a well-trained click monkey.After the month ends youre going to re-introduce only those technologies that have a net-positive effect on your life. And youll do it in an intentional way with a specified use plan that maximizes your life, not your time online.FromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy WorldMuch like decluttering your house, this lifestyle experiment provides a reset for your digital life by cleari ng away distracting tools and compulsive habits that may have accumulated haphazardly over time and replacing them with a much more intentional set of behaviors, optimized, in proper minimalist fashion, to support your values instead of subverting them.And this isnt some theoretical idea. Cal actually ran this experiment with his mailing list before writing the book. When he first launched einzelschritt DIGITAL DECLUTTER he expected 40-50 people to participate. He was wrong 1,600 did. So you are not alone.Whats the first step? Defining what optional technology means to you so youre clear on what is no longer kosher for the month.FromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World consider the technology optional unless its temporary removal would harm or significantly disrupt the daily operation of your professional or personal life.In other words, default to verboten unless theres areallygood reason. Nobodys saying you have to ditch your work email, your microwave, or y our electric toothbrush. But Facebook, Instagram and video games are out. Delete all not-mission-critical apps from your phone.Sure, some technologies are largely optional but have critical use cases. Personal email, texting, etc. These need operating procedures. tischset time limits or create filters so only messages from important people get through.And everything else digitally tempting that cannot be outright banned gets rules.Maybe you do watch Netflix, but only socially, never alone for the 30 days. Maybe you listen to podcasts, but only on your commute.If you find yourself debating how to handle something, ask a smart friend to make the judgment call.(To learn how to stop checking your phone, clickhere.)Okay, all your digital drugs have been flushed down the toilet and youre going to stay clean for 30 days. But now what the heck do you do with your time?Detox + high-quality leisure30 days. Mark it on the calendar.Believe it or not, there was a time before smartphones and the internet, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. And people were happy. Probably happier than you are now.The goal of the next 30 days is not merely to suffer. You want to reset. Tobreak bad habits, realize what is important, and rediscover all those things you enjoy that never scream LOW BATTERY.Dont just treat this as merely a detox. Much like dieting, if you eat healthy for 30 days but then go back to your old ways, youll just gain the weight back. You need to fill the digital void with some new, more rewarding activities.Screens aside, what do you enjoy? What do you miss? What have you been meaning to do?Reading books. Starting a hobby. Exercising. Learning to cook. Hiking. Seeing friends. Playing sports. Being the parent at the playground who is actually looking at their kids instead of their phone.What have people mentioned to you in the past few years that you replied to with, That would be great but I dont have the time?Well, like it or not, youve got more time now, Bubba.Ca l recommends setting a goal for the month. Maybe pick the songs youre going to learn on the guitar and have a party at the end of the 30 dayswhere you will play them for friends. That gives you a plan and a deadline. And the threat of embarrassment if you dont follow through.(To learn 5 secrets from neuroscience that will increase your attention span, clickhere.)Okay, the 30 days are over. Youre leaving rehab. But how do you make the transition without returning to your bad habits? Well, were gonna get some help from the most unlikely of places Managing technology (courtesy of the Amish)But the Amish dont use technology.Wrong.The Amish use tractors but not cars. Many have electricity but its not connected to the municipal grid. And while personal phones are prohibited, many towns have a community phone booth.Whats the deal? How do they draw the line? It comes down to values.FromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy WorldThe Amish, it turns out, do something thats bo th shockingly radical and simple in our age of impulsive and complicated consumerism they start with the things they value most, then work backward to ask whether a given new technology performs more harm than good with repect to these values.Tractors help them feed their family.Approved. Cars mean people drive to other towns instead of spending time with friends in the community.Banned.You just did 30 days hard time. So what tech really makes life better? What has far more upside than downside? What was more time-saver than time-waster? You have a blank slate. What should be welcome back in your neo-Amish lifestyle?Cal offers 3 rulesFromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy WorldTo allow an optional technology back into your life at the end of the digital declutter, it must1) Serve something you deeply value (offering some benefit is not enough)2) Be the best use technology to serve this value (if its not, replace it with something better)3) Have a role in your life that is constrained with a standard operating procedure that specifies when and how you use it.Yes, youre still gonna do some aimless web-surfing and Netflix bingeing from time to time. Were not going to be unrealistic here. But how do you manage that going forward?The calendar and the clock are your friends.FromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy WorldSchedule in advance the time you spend on low-quality leisure. That is, work out the specific time periods during which youll indulge in web surfing, social media checking, and entertainment streaming. When you get to these periods, anything goes. If you want to binge-watch Netflix while live-streaming yourself browsing Twitter go for it. But outside these periods, stay offline.(To get Cals tips on how to stop being lazy and get more done, clickhere.)Sounds good but the phone is always there tempting you. It buzzes and rings and calls to you, literally. How do we handle it?Do not disturb is the new defaultYour smart phone has a do not disturb setting. Just leave it on by default. Or you can schedule when it will automatically turn on and off. And, yes, you can designate certain numbers and texts that always get through. Play with the settings until you find a balance that works for you.And you want to respond to texts in batches. Designated periods of time where you respond to everything rather than an incessant back and forth that pretty much eliminates your ability to concentrate.And if youre really feeling bold, try leaving your phone in the glove compartment of your car when you drive somewhere. Youcango get it if you really need it, but youll be much more likely to pay attention to the friends youre with or to turn to that book you were smart enough to bring.And what about other devices? We discussed how the general purpose nature of digital tools can be problematic. So to restrain your impulses Cal recommends turning yourgeneralpurpose devices intosinglepurpose devices. The Netflix app an d social media are only on your iPad. Theres nothing but work stuff on the desktop. Texting notifications only show up on your phone.This allows you to put certain devices away and focus on one thing at a time.(To learn Cals tips on the best way to manage your time, clickhere.)Okay, youve graduated rehab and joined the Neo-Amish. Lets round it all up and answer the big question people always askIf Im spending dramatically less time texting, emailing and using social media, isnt that going to hurt my relationships?Sum upThis is how to stop wasting time on the internetThe 30-Day Digital Declutter Designate optional technology, build rules around the non-optional, and then go cold turkey for a month.Detox and high quality leisure Rediscover what you used to enjoy. Engage in the activities you never have time for. Fill the digital void.Managing technology (courtesy of the Amish) Think about whats important to you and only re-introduce tech that best addresses those things. Weigh benefit sandcosts.Do not disturb is the new default No notifications unless they will stop you from getting fired or prevent a child from drowning. Texting in batches. Make devices single purpose.So if you make these changes, wont that mean fewer connections with people? Will you be cutting yourself off from the world - all too much like The Amish do?No doubt youll reduce the amount of low quality interactions you have. But if you just make a few tweaks, you can trade shallow connections for deep conversations and improve your important relationships.Cal recommends having schreibstube hours much like a college professor might.Designate set times on set days during which youre always available to talk. Cal learned this from a friend who established 530PM on weekdays as his office hours. Its no accident thats when hes stuck in traffic commuting.This not only spares him from constant texting and emailing, it actually deepens his important relationships.FromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focuse d Life in a Noisy WorldThe logistical simplicity of this system enables this executive to easily shift time-consuming, low-quality connections into higher-quality conversation. If you write him with a somewhat complicated question, he can reply, Id love to get into that. Call me at 530 any day you want.But that still leaves the problem of less time on social media and friends who might get upset that youre not liking all the pictures of their new baby. Again, we want to trade frequent shallow connection for less frequent but more meaningful conversation.FromDigital Minimalism Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy WorldOne person I mentioned this strategy to, for example, expressed concern that if she didnt leave a comment on a friends latest baby picture, it would be noted as a callous omission. If the friendship is important, however, let the concern about this reaction motivate you to invest the time required to set up a real conversation. Actually visiting the new mom will return si gnificantly more value to both of you than adding a short aww to a perfunctory scroll of comments You can be the one person in their life who actuallytalksto them on a regular basis, forming a deeper, more nuanced relationship than any number of exclamation points and bitmapped emjois can provide.Visit. Pick up the phone. Send a hand-written card. Those are the things that touch us. Dont be the digital ghost. Be the real friend who reaches out.Liking is something we should do with people, not with buttons.Join over 320,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.This article first appeared on Barking Up The Wrong Tree.